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Monday, January 22, 2018

well-loved coffee shop

currently sitting at an old wobbly table
in a well-loved coffee shop
sipping peppermint,ginger, lemongrass tea
feet planted on scratched and used hardwood floors
listening to the hustle and bustle of people discussing a variety of topics

i reflect on my first visit
when i visited this well-loved coffee shop
spent most of my time crying in the bathroom
pain gripped my chest
yelling at the phone
wanting someone to understand my perspective
i stormed out after quickly grabbing my things
tears falling from my eyes
a couple stops me and asks me for directions
i muster up enough energy to answer
"i am not from here"
did not want them to see my tears
to pity me
to ask me if I was okay
truth is...in that moment - i was not okay.
my answer resonated with me - i was more out of place than ever

fast forward a couple of months
memories haunting me
broken spirit and confidence
still wondering why God works the way He does
wondering if i would ever feel like myself again
i revisited this well-loved coffee shop
even though i was hesitant
kept replaying my last experience
however, i stepped inside
greeted by a very nice young man and worship music
i sat at an old wobbly table much like the one i am at now

God met me in this well-loved coffee shop
i felt His spirit as worship kissed each end of the tiny space.
left that place feeling rejuvenated
that was the first time I felt like myself
God called me to Himself in those moments
called me
royal
redeemed
worthy
enough

since then
God's power has been evident
healing is not an overnight process
it is not a place everyone can speak in to
it is not a place where anyone can be with you
sometimes healing looks like solitude
sometimes healing looks like weeping in the bathroom and screaming your lungs out
sometimes healing looks brokeness before The Lord
sometimes healing looks like worshipping with a group of strangers who eventually become family
tears streaming down your face in awe of your Father
hands raised high
incomprehensible prayers whispered
arms swaying
revisiting a well-loved coffee shop




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